Can this help children?
I know sometimes we think they are more like animals or monsters, especially when they are expressing
their emotional selves, but they are in fact always human beings, and as such they can learn a lot from
understanding Human Givens. Consider the following.
The developing brain
Take a scan of the brain of a baby and you will find that although the outside is correctly formed and the
emotional brain (the anxiety response or fight-or-flight response) is functional, the two larger
outer-hemispheres are virtually empty. The emotional brain allows the baby to protect itself (find nourishment
and warmth by enabling parenting templates in the parents) in the outside world, but little else. Essentially
the baby is a truly emotional being with very little rational thinking ability. They are emotional from day
one, and only develop rational thought processes later as their new daily quota of neurons arrive. Understanding
the nature of emotion is really important for children as soon as they have sufficient rational-thinking
abilities to understand.
We are emotional beings
Parents often help their children to learn how to do things (read, write, play games etc), but sometimes
they are not taught that we are ALL emotional beings and that adults sometimes do things that may be worrying
or difficult to understand when they are under pressure. Also, sometimes adults hide their emotions intending
to protect the children, while all the time confusing them. Children not only have to learn to understand their
own emotions, but also those on display around them. Understanding emotional capacity can be a very powerful tool
for any child.
Recognising emotional stress and distress
Imagine the child growing up in a broken or disturbed family environment where there is anger, alcohol,
violence on a regular basis. Being aware of the effects of stress and distress with these things being openly
discussed will help the child to understand and cope.
How we learn with needs and resources
This is another powerful learning for any child, that we have hidden new resources arriving every day.
So even if the child is struggling with something today, if they really need to learn something and they keep
trying, they will be able to, thanks to new daily neurons. This encourages the development of determination and
persistence which are good skills for later life.
The Human Givens Rewind process can be invaluable for children suffering from any form of traumatic experience
such as watching domestic violence, abuse, school bullying etc. Not only can the child be helped immediately, but these
traumatic memories are dealt with before they can cause a lifetime of behavioural changes (avoidance, socio-phobia,
anxiety attacks etc).
The security guard
Knowing that we have a security guard constantly alert and protecting us from danger is reassuring to most children
once they understand it. It is like having a secret protector, or invisible friend watching over us. It helps develop
confidence and self awareness.
For a child, this can normalize the way they are feeling. They are emotionally distressed, but cannot connect
that to the way they are behaving and this simple analogy allows them to do so. With this understanding they are re-assured
and begin to calm down. They also become interested in learning what they can do to prevent being as upset again in the
future, they learn how to manage stress at an early age. Consider the life long benefits from that alone.
Who’s in charge?
Understanding that we have such a powerful unconscious resource at the command of the conscious mind is liberating
and empowering to children. They can be encouraged to experiment with this, all the time gaining confidence from understanding
just how unlimited this power is. What a wonderful thought at a young age, that we have all that power to help us learn and develop.
Why we dream
Children quite often suffer from nightmares or even night-terrors. Adults know that these are nothing to be concerned about
and that they will usually only last for a short time than disappear. However, to the child they can be extremely frightening and
unsettling. Understanding the purpose of sleep and dreaming not only is interesting to most children, but also explains how dreaming
resolves emotions from the previous day, and that dreams use metaphors, and sometimes these metaphors are scary because something scary
has happened to them the day before. The scary event may or may not be obvious such as intimidation in the playground, or simply feeling
uncomfortable and not wanting to go to school yet being unable to explain why. The explanation will calm a child down, and in conjunction
with other Human Given techniques the night terrors/mares can often be quickly eliminated.
These basic tools create a confidence in that when something goes wrong, they have things they can do to recover. Often even having
the understanding makes life more manageable and the tools are not required, just having them is enough to ward off problems. These are simple
ideas, but very effective and really important for an anxious or fearful child to learn.